By Jenna Morris
Have you ever been so stuck that the only thing you can do is breakdown? Have you ever been so lost that even going to the Father feels impossible? Have you ever felt so weak that some days you don't want to get out of bed and be productive, you just want to lay there?
Well, hi. Me too. I'm going to be vulnerable right now. It's hard to pour out when I need to be poured into. I'm stuck, I'm lost, I'm tired, and I'm really good at hiding it, but I'm here to tell you that the Lord is fighting for me. He is fighting for you too.
For awhile, things have been hectic for me. The summer is slowly coming to an end, school is about to start, and there is tons of school shopping to do. Sports are starting back up, I'm in my school play, and I'm a cheerleader. I volunteer at my church on a regular basis. I have six siblings to tend to, chores to keep up with, and family constantly coming in town to visit. Not only all that, but I'm becoming a small group leader at my church too. It's a lot to take in, and causes a lot of stress. I'm not here to complain though.
When you are constantly running, you forget to stop and lean on your centerpiece. Not only do you forget, but sometimes it gets to the point where you start to avoid it. You don't want to stop running because you feel like if you stop, you’re going to have to figure out how to drop everything and come to God. Sometimes you don't know how to drop everything and come to God. Sometimes your prayers don't feel like their being heard. Sometimes you feel forgotten, but that’s not true.
I can say that I am a victim to life's tragedies. It hurts. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, but I am here to proclaim that in the midst of my anger, in the midst of my weakness, I am still 100% God’s beloved. I am waiting patiently on Him. Not only am I all His, but He is fighting for me. It is written in Exodus 14:14
"The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still.”
Like I said in my last post, it is okay to not be okay. What matters most is how you act in the middle of it all. I still believe the Lord loves me with all that He is, and I still believe that He has my best interest at heart.
To be honest, I'm not going to write a blog and pretend like everything is okay.
Here I am. I'm struggling. I’m empty right now and I need to be refueled. I'm tired and I need to rest. I'm depending too much on earthly desires and not depending on God. I need to regain the knowledge of how to directly come to Him. I need life spoken over me, and I need to fall in love with my God again.
People, I need to be poured into. Do you need to be poured into? At times, we get so distracted with constantly serving and serving and serving until we're completely wiped out. It's like you have a pitcher filled with water, and you pour a little bit here and there until one day, you've got nothing else to pour out. You're empty, but here's the catch, not just anyone can fill you back up. As humans, we sometimes sit there and expect to be poured into by other humans. We end up breaking even more because we're depending on flawed people. People will always disappoint you. I’m sorry, that's the stinging truth, but the Lord your God, your refuge, will never disappoint you.
Depend on our Father. He wants you so badly. I know it's hard, I know it needs work. I'm here with you, I feel for you. But trust that He is fighting for you. Let God fight for you.
Remember Exodus 14:14.